Funniest Quotes from “Hangover 2”

Rarely do comedic showdowns grace the silver screen to the likes of the “Hangover” films. It is flicks like this that quintessentially tickle our funny bones and appease the undying urge for coarse, bathroom, potty-mouth humor that we all secretly crave in some clandestine manner. While parents wag their fingers at preteens, warning them to not even try and see such films, in secret the parents are watching those films together and enjoying some brash laughs over the debauchery that’s exuded.

It’s movies like these that can make it difficult to even drink a soda at the theater, in fears of the sugary liquid spraying from our nostrils as we laugh and choke on the popcorn kernels that become imbedded in our esophagus from our bouts of uncontrollable laughter spells that such movies induce. Upon leaving the theater, our sides tend to ache; a dull reminder of how much we truly did laugh. Rarely are movies this laugh-out-loud (LOL) funny. And rarely do they come in dainty pairs as the Hangover duo did. (Dumber & Dumber was funny, but the prequel was disappointing.)

It’s movies such as the aforementioned that tend to stick in our brains. The humorous engrams that they imbibe serve us well in our memory patterns and make us chuckle at work the next day, commonly called upon musings that are shared with punditry over coyly assembled water cooler conversation sessions during short breaks. And today, we’d like to recharge your memory with a few of our favorite picks for funniest quotes from “The Hangover 2.”

Our top pick is Alan’s Wedding Toast

Alan: "None of you know Stu like I do. Not you. Not you. Not you. Not you. Not nobody knows Stu like I do. No one. I can’t even tell you what we’ve been through because we made a pact, more important than blood. What I can tell you is this. This is not Stu’s first marriage. There was a whore in Las Vegas a couple of years ago…” – an obvious reference to the first film and a very memorable line.

The Bachelor Lunch

After finally assembling for their bachelor lunch, the crew ends up at a rundown IHOP. It is here that Phil delivers his toast.

Phil: "Oh it’s ok. No it’s ok. It’s a bachelor party. Drink up everybody. Oh wait, there’s no alcohol I forgot we’re at a f**king IHOP!"

Other funny quips:

Monkey Banana

Alan: "When a monkey nibbles on a penis, it’s funny in every language!"

Wedding Invite

Doug: "Stu would like to invite you to his wedding."

Stu: "Well only if you’re not busy."

Phil: "Stu?"

Stu: "Well, maybe the Jonas Brothers are in town."

Alan: "Nope, they’re in Raleigh, Durham that weekend."

Albino Polar Bears

Alan: "My uncle Roger said he once saw an albino polar bear."

Stu: "Polar bears are white. How would be know it's an albino?"

Alan: "This one was black."

Stu: "Isn't that just a black bear?"

Alan: "Whatever."

Long John Silver’s

Alan: "I’ve been uh meaning to ask someone. I noticed it’s a fishing village. Is there a Long John Silvers on the island?"

Lauren: "No, no I don’t think so. I’m so sorry."

Stu: "But, we are actually serving some great fresh seafood."

Alan: "Better than Long Johns?"

Stu: "Yes."

Alan: "I’ll be the judge of that."

Garden of Meditation

Grand Wizard: "Perhaps you should bring your question to the Garden of Meditation."

Phil: "Did you understand a word he just said?"

Stu: "Yeah I understood about two thirds. He said something about the Garden of Meditation."

Alan: "No he said he's farting because of his medication."